I don't know who's more upset

If you've read my blog, you'll know that I have a 3 year old son who is very attached to his "kiki".
It's a blanket he's had since birth that he carries with him everywhere.
He cannot sleep without his blanket, it is the one thing that for 3 years has never failed to provide comfort.

The other day I took all the kids to Walmart, and of course, Kiki made the trip with us.
Since I usually require that the kids leave all toys in the van for fear of them losing toys in the store, I made an exception for kiki. Surely the boy who loved this blanket to death would not abandon his beloved source of comfort, would he?

Being that he is 3, we did of course have to visit the bathroom while we were there, and after a short pit stop we were on our way, to the food aisle, and grab some milk because we never seem to have enough milk in the house, and back home again, safe and sound.

It wasn't until 8pm that we noticed Kiki was missing, and in my mind's eye, I could picture us leaving Walmart, Matthew clutching the side of the cart with one hand (as per our rule) and holding a treat in the other. I do not recall him having a blanket at that point.

So whats a mum to do?
Call up the store; "Hello, has anyone turned in a little blue blanket in lost and found?"
"oh, like a baby blanket?"
"Yes!" I practically shouted into the phone, "Thats it!"
"Oh no, sorry" the girl replied, thereby crushing my hopes of getting Kiki back into the arms of it's owner before an all out night of anguished cries and sobs....

We hunted throughout the house, but I'm positive that it's not here.
Check through the van - no dice, and no kiki anywhere.
Go back to walmart at 8:30pm, Praying that God has mercy on a 3-yr old, and allows me to find the darn blanket.
Retrace my steps exactly, even venturing into the bathroom and
LO AND BEHOLD - THERE'S KIKI!!! Safe and sound curled up on a chair in the bathroom.

What an adventure Kiki has had. Never again will we let Kiki out of the house....

Until Tonight.

We went for a walk with the kids.
2 adults, a double stroller, and a single stroller.
As we headed down our street, I looked back to see Matthew and Duncan in the double stroller - with Kiki draped lovingly over Matthew's lap. Not a problem I thought, we aren't going into any stores, just going for a walk.

And walk we did - all the way up a big hill, and finding ourselves thirsty, stopped at 7/11 for a slushee.
Walked back home, opened the door and let the kids in, while we put the strollers away in the garage.

9:00pm - Boys are minutes away from being tucked into bed - but we have a dilemma in that KIKI cannot be found.
hmmm come to think of it, the boys were holding slushees when we let them in the house, I don't recall that Kiki ever made it back into the house, that I KNOW it left.
so Whats a mum to do?
Drive back to 7/11, praying all the way that God has mercy yet again on a 3 yr old and allows that blanket to turn up.
Search the 7/11 - it's fairly small. No Kiki anywhere. Come home, search the stroller. Completely empty.
Search the house, just in case.
Get on my bike - retrace our steps.....all the way to 7/11.
By this time it is dark, and my chances of finding a Navy Blue baby blanket on the side of a pathway in the dark are beginning to dwindle.

Come home. Dejected. No Kiki.
I have to look at the expectant face of this little boy who with trembling lip asks me "Where's my Kiki?"
I don't know where it is. Having another adventure I guess.
I fear that this time it is gone, and while Matthew has asked for it a few times tonight, and I've explained that he lost it, I don't think he really believes it.
He has faith that it will show up somehow, because it always has in the past.
But this time.....
This time.....
I don't think it will.
And I don't know who is more upset.
The 3 yr old boy who has lost his favourite thing,
or
his mother, who cannot fix the problem with a hug and a kiss.
Not this time.

RIP Kiki - July 2002 - Sept 2005