22 short blurbs about me

Every once in a while, I'll stumble upon a blog that has a nice little list titled "100 things about me" or something to that effect.
I love these lists - it really opens my eyes to what that person is like, and to a self confessed blog junkie (I admitted it yesterday) it's nice to 'see' the 'real' person behind the 'pen'. Lots of 'quotes' used in cyberland, since I couldn't think of an appropriate metaphor, and saying it's nice to "read words about the person I cannot see but have gotten to know in the cyberrealm tapping away behind their keyboard" just doesn't have the same je ne sais quoi.

Not being brave enough to divulge 100 things about myself, for fear that I would
A) become incredibly boring;
B) suddenly be a target for cyberstalkers and anonymous comments from nitwits and
C) have a whole lot of explaining to do to certain readers (Hi mom!)

Henceforth I bring you:
22 Short Blurbs About Me: OK, some of them are not so short, but they are still about me.

1. My eyes are two different colours. Not really completely two different colours, but one is blue, and one is sort of 2/3's blue with a third brown - like a slice of brown pie - in my eye. My dad used to call it my rotten spot, but it is my unique spot. I have met 3 other people who have eyes like this - and 2 of them are actually related to me (My cousin Lauri, and my other cousin's son) The 3rd was a neighbour that used to live next door to us. My dad has met lots more, and makes a mental note to tell me whenever he runs into one of us freaky rotten eyed people.

2. I own a frightfully expensive vacuum cleaner. I didn't start out with the intention of buying it, we kind of got suckered into that by the offer of a free gift for participating in a a survey, and when they dropped off my "free gift" it came with my very own vacuum cleaner salesman and a little pitch. We honestly thought we'd have no problem listening to the sales spiel, and then saying no - I mean we had laminate floors EVERYWHERE, and carpet only on the stairs and the office - so I rarely vacuumed at the time. Besides, Duncan was only a year and a half, and matthew was only a few months old, so they weren't really messy - yet. Still, this guy was good - He vacuumed our steps, even with a whole bucket of sand inside his vacuum cleaner. It had space-age technology, worthy of being engineered at NASA. It was made of space age materials, and the stuff that it got up - WOW. My husband developed asthma after our acquisition of 2 kittens that we subsequently had to give away and we were in the process of purchasing a new home that would be over 2000sq feet - of CARPETS. This wonder vacuum was starting to look like a pretty good thing - we could practically suck up the colour off the carpets it was so good. Then we heard the price - nearly 3000$ and I just about fell down my freshly vacuumed steps. Now it was easy to say no. Sorry mr vacuum salesman - I don't have 3000 dollars, and if I did, I wouldn't spend it on a vacuum unless it cooked and did laundry too. Still, he was persistent, and allowed us all sorts of financing, and eventually we got him down to 1/3 of his original quote. It has a lifetime guarantee, and it's still rediculously expensive for a vacuum - but, darn it, if it isn't the best vacuum I've ever used. Anywhere. It NEVER loses suction. It could suck the dust off the moon. It's really really good. It doesn't however get chocolate syrup off the carpet, so we've also purchased a steam cleaner for the stains, and I'm left with an amazing machine that picks cheerios off the carpets. Something that Joey does for free......Oh well - it's still space-age NASA technology!!

3. I am lefthanded. My husband is lefthanded. My oldest son is lefthanded. My middle son is ambidextrous. My youngest son is.....we think.....right handed. weirdo.

4. I have a leadfoot. My foot is not really on the chart of elements - but it is heavy when it comes anywhere near a gas pedal in a vehicle. I generally drive 10km over the posted limits. I don't know why I'm always in such a hurry - I just am. Even if I have lots of time - I think faster is better. I have slowed considerably since having kids. They are speed-demons though. They are always yelling at me to "go faster mommy". They have a little thrill-seeking in them I think.

5. I used to have this crazy reoccuring dream when I was little. We lived at the bottom of a hill, and at the top of the hill were two apartment buildings on either side of the street. For some reason, I dreamed one night that I was walking up the hill, and when I got to the top there was a crazy witch (green skin, black pointy hat - the works) on top of that apartment building, cackling away and pointing at me. Such a silly dream really, but it scared me nevertheless, and I would have that same dream fairly often as a kid. As I got older, I had that dream less and less, and finally became an adult and basically forgot about it.
I got married and moved out on my own, and one night, about 5 years ago, I had 'the dream' and it was exactly the same as I remembered it, and just as scary for some reason, as it was when I was little. When I woke up and realized it was just a dream, I had a hard time explaining to my husband how surreal it was to have a nightmare as an adult, let alone a reoccuring one that I experienced frequently as a child. It's probably stress related, although I haven't had it since, so maybe it's not. It's still weird though, when I think about it.


6. I had a lot of lessons as a child. I started swimming lessons at 2, piano lessons at 7, Ballet lessons at 9 (very short lived - I hated Ballet), Skating lessons around 10, and now as an adult, I can swim pretty well, play piano by ear, because even after 7 years of piano lessons, I still have problems reading music, I suck at ballet, but thats ok, because those ballerina's always seem to wear pink, and pink looks horrible on me (see blurb #16), and I can skate well enough to not be embarrassed, even after strapping on skates that haven't touched my feet in about 10 years! So really, lessons don't make you do things better - if you have a natural talent for something and you like it, you will excel. No amount of lessons would ever turn me into a ballarina...

7. I speak Spanish (probably better than French) – Immersion is effective. And motivation counts for a lot. When I was in Jr High, my parents decided that we would be spending a year in Ecuador, much to my dismay, and I protested quite vehemently, but their minds were made up. Having grown up in Canada for 14 yrs since birth, I like every other person in my class was required to take French, as it is one of our official languages. Ecuador however, is not officially French. The one benefit I saw in being shuffled off to a Latin American boarding school, was that I would not be required to take French. I hated French, and although I was very good at it, and wish I spoke it fluently now, as a teenager, it made for a rather tedious subject. So off we went to Quito Ecuador, and sure enough, the only French courses available were beginner courses that most Canadian schoolkids have mastered by Grade 4 if not earlier. So no French for me - but, they did have introductory Spanish, and being in that we were in a Spanish speaking country, guess what was a requirement at that school? Yep; Spanish.
I will say that by the end of the year, I had learned more Spanish than all the years of French I had put together. And whether I like to admit it or not, all that French probably helped me learn Spanish that much quicker. I would love to be tri-lingual - But as it is, I speak English, with bits of French and Spanish, enough to get by on vacation in Mexico, and Venezuela and barter with the shopkeepers for holiday trinkets.

8. I collect elephants from places I've visited around the world. My favourite is a large ebony elephant that I got in Ivory Coast. I am proud that I bartered for it (In French no less) and it is beautiful, my collection is centered around that piece.
Bartering in Africa is so much different than bartering in South America. There is an art to bartering, and some places actually get offended if you don't barter - it's like a dance, a game on both sides, with bantering back and forth, mock horror and finally an agreement, smiles all around, and handshakes. I like bartering.

9. I like sunsets and storms - the bigger the storm, the better - so long as it doesn't cause mass destruction, and flooding - it just has to LOOK wicked and scary.
I like to sit outside under the safety of a big porch, in a comfy chair, and watch lightning dance and weave across the sky. Hail is an added bonus - provided it doesn't dent my car. Can you imagine being a bug and being caught in the middle of a hail storm? Giant chunks of ice hurtling at you like meteorites. I'm glad I'm not a bug.

10. I've taken up running. After years of being pg and watching my poor bum gain an extra 5 lbs with EACH kid, I've decided it's time to take it all off. For women, the bum is really the hardest place to lose - at least for normal women - If you're Jessica Simpson, and have no bum at all, you can work out to ADD to your bum, or just wear padded Daisy Dukes (yeah Jessica, we really believe thats your bum). In any case, what I need to do is overall cardio to get rid of the fat, and the best way to do it is to run - so I've become a runner. I don't feel like a runner. I feel like an overweight stay-at-home-mum, loping down the street in way too expensive running gear, that doesn't hold me tight enough, so I jiggle and juggle for 25 minutes and huff and puff and sweat and stretch and all for 2 lbs a week that gets put back on in one night of backsliding with a bag of cheesies and chocolate mint ice cream. But I've got these great kids.....

11. I don't like scary movies - they give me nightmares. I do like thrillers and mysteries though. It's a fine line.
Sixth sense -good;
The ring - bad.

12. I watch The Daily Show - almost every day. It is a misnomer, because it is not on every day. Jon Stewart takes more holidays than a Norwegian cruise line. It is on Monday to Thursday, which is 4 days of the week - so it averages out to The Every Other Day show and since it goes about 3 weeks with new shows and then does repeats for a week, it probably averages out to somewhere around the 100 days of the year Show. Still, I watch it when I can. I find it more entertaining than traditional news programs, while still keeping me in the loop as to what is going on in the world. We all need a little humour.

13. I had a dog when I was very young. His name was Igor, and he was a complete mutt, but he was a good dog. I would pull his tail all the time and he would never bite, growl or nip, he was just very good with little kids. There are pictures of him, but I don't remember him at all. We moved to Syracuse, N.Y. on my 2nd birthday; my dad was getting his Masters degree at Syracuse University. The dog went to a friends farm, as it was safer than having a dog in the city. Igor got hit by a car anyway.
My sister was devastated. But I don't remember. I guess that's a good thing.

14. I got my driver's licence on my first attempt. I remember the day, clear as a bell - I had my test booked for weeks, and I rushed home from school, because my mom was planning on taking me down to the DMV right after school - I was so looking forward to the independence that a drivers licence would give me. When I got home the house was deserted, so I waited. And I waited. and I grew more and more upset as I waited, thinking that I was going to miss my test for sure, and finally I heard the door lock turn, and my dad walked through the front door, half carrying my mom. Turns out she had been in a car accident that morning, hit by a drunk driver, had some cracked ribs, and was just getting home from the hospital.
Never in my life did I feel like more of a heel for being upset. And my sweet mom, the only thing she kept thinking about all the time she was in hospital was that she had to get home to take me for my drivers test. Thats love. Since the car that I had learned on was a complete write off, my dad offered to take me to my test, and let me use his car - I took if for a spin around the block and said "no thanks" - I wasn't used to his power steering, power brakes, power everything, and the ride around the block was a little choppy. I would fail for sure being in that car. I had psyched myself up by this point to rebook the test, but then we remembered that our neighbour across the street had the same model car as my mom. What nerve we had to go and ask them if we could borrow their car, but really, they had been neighbours of my parents since 1964, and had watched me grow up from birth, and thats just what neighbours were like back then. They didn't even hesitate - Of course we could borrow their car. My dad took me down to the DMV in the neighbour's car, and I passed my test, with tears streaming down my face as the whole emotional weight of the day fell down on me. And thats when they snapped my picture for my very first driver's licence. nice.

15. I started wearing glasses at 2 years old. My mom tells me that she was first clued into my vision problems when I looked at her and said "I see two mommies".
My double vision was really the result of being slightly crosseyed, and somewhat nearsighted; problems that could be corrected if I wore glasses. I hated wearing them, and broke several pairs of them over the years. Once I remember coming home from school, and just before I got home, I slipped on some ice, and my glasses flew off and broke. I knew my mom would be upset, and I was so scared to show her my broken glasses, but I don't remember what happened when I got home. I guess my anticipation of what would happen was more memorable than what actually did. After nearly 10 years, my vision had improved to the point that glasses were no longer necessary, and I was thrilled - I would be going to junior high, and would not have to wear the dreaded glasses. Shortly after I got rid of the glasses - I got braces.

16. I don't like the colour pink. Pink does not look good on me. Pink looks good on my kids. My kids like the colour pink.But I don't buy them pink.
I guess that makes me sexist.

17. In addition to not liking pink, I do not like dresses - although I did wear one to get married in (nice big fluffy white one), and another one for my sister's wedding where I was maid of honour (lovely form fitting blue one, to fit over my 2 month post partum belly). I am a tom-boy, and it was always a struggle to get me into a dress as a kid. Consequently, my school pictures started off with me in a dress in kindergarten, but by the time I was 7, my class picture that year was me in blue overalls (but at least I had a pink shirt on - blech). While other little girls wanted barbie's playhouse for Christmas, I asked for (and got) Stretch Monster! This was a big green rubber doll, similar to The Incredible Hulk, except that you could pull all his limbs and stretch him out as wide as your arms could go! The day I opened it, even my dad thought it was kind of a cool toy - before I got my first stretch in, Dad was right there as I took him out of the box - "Let's stretch his neck" Dad said enthusiastically- and proceeded to rip the head off my brand new Chrismas present. Luckily, the head was able to be stuck back on, and none of the stretching ability was compromised. A few years later, I found good ol stretch Monster in the back of my closet - broken beyond repair. My little brother had gotten a hold of it, and stretched him just a little further than the recommended amount. Stretch Monster's arm ripped off, and he began leaking a red substance, similar in consistancy to hot wax. My brother then did what lots of little brothers around the world do - Put it back and hope that I never notice the missing arm. and the oozing mess along the bottom of my closet. I noticed. It took several more years before he confessed though. And I have been gracious enough to forgive him ;).


18. I used to be the manager of a music studio. It was one of the cooler jobs I ever held, although it didn't pay very well - which wasn't too much of a problem, since I didn't really do all that much. Basically, musicians are night owls, and don't like to get up in the mornings, so I generally got to work at 9:30 at the earliest, and booked appointments for bands to get their albums mastered, and worked with music labels getting music masters done. I got to meet a lot of bands, and if I sucked up a little to the right labels, got a ton of free CD's. After being there for a year or so, my name even became known among a certain circle - music circles are very very small. I'd get calls like this; "Oh hi Jenn, um, I don't know if you remember me, I'm in a band called Sloan, and we were wondering how Friday was looking to get our new album done" And of course I would play it cool, thinking to myself (MY GOSH, it's SLOAN on the phone, and they know me - cool) but I would reply, "Oh yeah, lets see, Friday is booked up, but Hows 11am looking for you the following week? Ok great".
Then I'd spend the rest of the day hanging out in Studio B, putting together a compilation for A&M or BMG, printing out some labels and making an invoice for whatever band happened to be booked into Studio A. Sometimes I'd go get lunch for everyone, and sometimes we'd just tell stories throughout the day and laugh our heads off. It was a great job, and I worked with some great people, that I still stay in contact with. I have good memories of that place.

19. I have no grandparents. Not any more. My Paternal grandmother died when my dad was 18 - I would have liked to have met her, as Dad says I'm like her in many ways. I like to think I inherited her caustic wit, a bit of sarcasm and writing ability from her. My grandfather remarried the same year that my parents got married, and had 3 more kids. He concentrated on his youngest children, had kids with several special needs, and his grandchildren saw him once a year at Christmas.
My maternal grandparents on the other hand, I was much closer to. Although my grandma died when I was 11, I still remember how she fussed over getting me paper and pens when I asked for them, rushing to the closet to set me up so I could compose little poetry books. I remember being scared to ask her for paper - I'm not sure why - she always went out of her way to get us whatever we asked for. I am the 8th of 11 grandchildren, so grandma already had plenty of experience as a grandma before I came along. I see my children with their grandparents - they have 3 sets, and they are closer to all of their grandparents than I was to any of mine. I am a little jealous, as I would have liked to have had that - but I am happy for my kids. They are lucky to have so much love in their lives.

20. I bite my nails. I've done it for as long as I can remember, and everytime I see someone with beautiful freshly manicured nails, I hide my hands a little bit, and vow that this time I'm going to grow them out, and treat myself to a well deserved manicure.....but I always chomp them. Once when I was about 10 or 11, my dad challenged me to grow them out for money. He would pay me $1.00 a nail. Hey it was like 1980, and 10$ seemed like a lot of money to me then (it's actually more than I currently carry in my wallet, but that's another blurb). Never one to shy away from a challenge issued by my dad, and desperate to impress him - I grew out 10 glorious luxurious nails.
Then I collected my 10$ and bit them all off. My dad wants his 10 bucks back, but I'm 36 now, and really, 10$ with 26 years of interest at our current rate is probably 11 or 12 bucks by now....too steep, so I am forever indebted to my dad, and have grown my nails out this week, so that I don't look like a welcher!

21. when I was even younger - I took up another "dad challenge". To stop watching TV for a month. Dad offered all of us kids 2 dollars to turn off the tube for 30 days. Thats less then 7cents a day - but when you're 7yrs old, and incredibly stubborn, well kids will do almost anything for money. We played outside a lot more, and dad's plan probably backfired a little bit, as he was then roped into playing Monopoly with us, still; we rose to the challenge and at the end of the 30 days, both my older sister and I stood before dad as he doled out our 2 dollars - in 50 cent pieces. 4 shiny pieces of - well nickel probably. I took one of them to school and showed off my shiny coin. One of my classmates also had a 50 cent piece that day, but his was not nearly as shiny and beautiful as mine, but it made a different sound when it was bounced on the concrete playground. I shrewdly traded him my shiny new coin for his beat up old one that made the 'tinny' sound - to which he happily agreed. We both walked away happy, for his coin was real silver - something I had figured out thanks again to my dad who during our TV ban would entertain us with a plethora of activities, one of them being "Guess which coin is silver" where he'd drop a coin and teach us that real silver makes a different noise when dropped than nickel. Mom got mad at me for taking advantage of a kid that didn't know the difference, but I think dad was secretly proud that at such a young age I had used my brains to make a good deal. And I kept the coin. I still have it.

22. I actually started this post on August 19th, at 9:31am. It took me this long to find 22 blogworthy blurbs. There were several blurbish ideas, but they didn't pan out. I figure a "blurb" has to consist of more than 4 words, and "I don't like peas" isn't really a blurb so much as a comment on my culinary tastes. Thats more of a "thing" - along the lines of the 100 things I could tell you about myself, but won't because I am blurbing instead, since I found my 'blurbs' to be more fun to write than my 'things'. Now I'm just babbling, which is something else altogether.
Maybe tomorrow I'll do a list of the crap that didn't make 'the cut'....