Oreo Truffle Balls

Oreo Truffle Balls - Don't they sound delicious?

I've tried them before - when other more competent people have made them and they are *really* good.

"Oh they are SO easy Jenn" I was told

It's a fool proof recipe - with all of 2 ingredients - then roll them in chocolate and viola! More like Cello for me. CELLO - what's going on here - why didn't this work for me....

I'm not a proficient baker. Or even a proficient cook. I have a great dialing finger for take-out but even then I prefer to hand over the reins of the phone to My Dear Husband if it actually involves talking to someone on the other end.

My kitchen is my pride and joy, and I like to keep it clean and tidy - No need to mess that up with cooking or baking or the like, right? I'm quite content to limit myself to making cheese sandwiches for the kid's lunches, and good ol' Kraft Dinner and weiners on days when I'm too tired to dial out.... :p

(Lest anyone think that we only eat macaroni and take out - rest assured that I've been known to trick my kids into eating veggies and they are all very healthy, and active and according to their doctor absolutely perfect at 1lb per inch)

But I digress - because I was talking about the fool proof recipe which is not really as fool proof as it sounds.

Here it is - the secret Oreo Truffle ball recipe.
Oreos. And Cream Cheese.

That's it. 1 pack of oreos. 1 stick of cream cheese. What could be easier than that?

It *sounds* so easy - Crush up the oreos, mix with cream cheese - and roll into balls - put in the fridge and cover with chocolate

Until you remember my skill level for baking which is close to -834 at the moment.

Ok - buy a pack of oreos. Lose the first row to the kids thievery. Good thing I bought the extra large bag. I'm ahead of the game already; hahahahahhahahaha.

now - step one - Crush Oreos.

This is easier said than Done. I enlisted the help of my 7 yr old for this - thinking it would be a great activity for him - destruction has always been his strong suit.
Made him wash hands first, and while he spent 8 minutes (yes really!) doing that, I hopped online to double check the recipe.
Really only two ingredients? is that really true? Nothing else? No? Ok

Hands washed and let's start crumbling.
He was great crumbling the first 2 cookies
not so great when we finished the next row and still kept crumbling.
"What are you doing? How many are you going to break?" he asked me - starting to hyperventilate
"All of them" I answered; "It's supposed to be the whole pack"

Meltdown city. Yes my 7 yr old threw a tantrum because he didn't want EVERY cookie to be broken.
This is the Asperger part of him coming out. No you can't break ALL of them - what if I want to eat one later.
"Duncan I bought these cookies for the recipe - I bought them to break up, not to eat - we can buy more to eat"
No - not a good enough answer apparently - so my helper went off to sulk elsewhere while I was left in the kitchen with a bowl of crumbled up oreos.

No biggie - I can do this.
I think.
Oreos do not crumble up all that easily. they jump all over the place - and just what are you supposed to use to grind them into a fine dust anyway? a Blender?
I started with a spoon, then moved to a fork and finally got one of those tools that I don't know the name of.

Oh wait - I just called my mom - it's called a Pastry Blender and it looks like this:


So yeah, I resorted to a pastry blender to crush up my oreos, which by this time, I had added the cream cheese thinking it would help to keep the semi-crushed oreos from jumping out of the bowl....

You may be asking yourself now, why such a culinary disappointment such as myself even has a pastry blender. All I can say is that someone must have given it to me as a shower/wedding gift in the hopes that I'd be making pies or tarts, neither of which I've done in 11 years.
Back to the oreo truffles.
The mixture was starting to resemble some kind of sludge one might find on the bottom of the lake - but with more chunks.
In desperation I turned to my online support group - the one where I first saw the recipe in the first place.

Oh yeah - it was a simple solution - just put them in a ziplock back and use a rolling pin.
DUH - I'd have slapped my head, except that I didn't feel like it.
Oh well - I'll know for next time...if there's a next time. I think I'll give these practice ones away...hahahahahah

They are currently rolled into little balls resembling turds to "chill" in the fridge.

I will attempt the melting chocolate next..

Who knows - could get another blog out of this baking attempt.

Oh, and Duncan was quick to point out that we aren't using the oven, so there's no real baking going on here.

Thanks oh literal one.

If there wasn't so much truth to that in several different levels I'd be somewhat annoyed. As it is....I'm just the proud owner of 30 ball turds in the fridge. Don't you want to be me?