Backseat Drivers.

Whats worse than a backseat driver?


I'll tell you.


A carseat driver.

I drive a minivan - which technically has two back seats, and without fail, the moment I get behind the steering wheel, a voice pipes up from his carseat in the very rear:

"Mum, move your arm, I can't see the speedometer!"

I should add that this is the very same child that is hyperlexic and obsessed with numbers of any kind. He gets excited when he sees the speed limit signs and then matches them up with how fast I am driving, which admittedly is usually a little faster than the sign.

"Mum, slow down, the sign says 100, and you're doing 120!"

At first I thought it was just in my head - this persistent little voice. Is that my conscience? I'd ask myself.
No, my conscience wouldn't be that persistent. Or loud.
It is indeed my 5 yr old.

"How FAST am I going?" he'll yell as he tears through my living room
"Am I going 100 fast?"

'100 fast' is the basic epitome of fast, and the speed by which all others are measured because that is the speed limit on our highway, although he does know (and will tell me often) that in Germany they have the Autobahn where you can go 800 fast and did you know that's as fast as an AIRPLANE!
jumbo jet cruising speeds

So getting back to my rear carseat driver, who doubles as my conscience while driving down the highway.
He has been known to tell me to slow down so the police don't give me a ticket. Much better than his previous notion that police would rip your arms off. We're trying not to instill a fear of police, even though mummy's heartrate nearly doubles when she sees a cruiser parked on the side of the road with their little radar detectors set up.

I haven't had a ticket in years, and I have slowed down considerably, now that I have precious cargo (my family) along for the ride. But I still tend to have a lead foot.
And a constant little reminder.......from the back seat.