Hair hair everywhere.... and why Walmart 'greeters' are a waste of space.

Last week I gave Duncan a haircut - He was pretty keen to get one - especially when I said he could stay up a little later than his brothers, and we made an evening out of it. He sits very well for 'the tickle machine' and I was pleased that he no longer looked like a scraggly ragamuffin.
Matthew is a different story. His hair is just plain wonky and grows in every direction. Add to this that it is not straight enough to lie flat, and not curly enough to be cute, he's got wavy wonky hair that just looks messy and permanent bedhead unless it is 1/4 of an inch long all over. I should add that Matthew has enough sensory issues that a haircut is a major event for him, and he hasn't had one since his nursery school picture day last September. As you can imagine - it was starting to look even more crazy than usual, so when I suggested he stay up late one night for a haircut - he staunchly refused.
For 2 weeks now, I've been trying to persuade the boy that haircuts are fun, and wouldn't he like to look as dapper and sharp as his big brother, and after 2 weeks of cajoling and bribes, he stubbornly refuses to let us near him with the hair clippers.
that is until Joey got a haircut.
Joey is not even 2, and I guess Matthew felt that if Joey could do it, he might be brave enough to try it - if lollipops were involved and he could watch Dora the Explorer while getting his hair cut.
We had to wait until Joey was done first - I had given Joey his first haircut in the summer, and by now, it looked like he had grown a hair helmet, and his head looked huge.
He was absolutely an angel the first time we cut his hair, leading me to think (falsely) that this time would be no different.
I was wrong - oh so wrong.
He did not want to sit.
He did watch Dora, but the moment those clippers came near he would turn his head.
He turned and swatted and did everything he could think of to prevent me from shearing his head, so in good sheep farmer fashion, I held him down while I ran the clippers across the side of his head.
I cut off enough hair to cover the floor of my kitchen! I knew my little boy was under there somewhere.
Crazy with the clippers, while my husband watched.
"oops a little uneven now, lets do the other side"
"Look I have a little shelf action going on"
Chris responded with "Well you're committed now"
Yes, I was committed the moment I ran the clippers down the centre of his head giving him a reverse mohalk.
I cut out the hair that was matted with syrup from breakfast that morning.
I cut if all off and he swatted and pushed and wriggled and writhed and in the end I have a very cute boy with a very SHORT hair cut (in most places, couldn't quite get the back while he was sitting in the high chair). He did get rewarded though and now, finally - it was Matthew's turn.
He changed his mind I think after seeing Joey being put under the torture of "the clippers", but the lure of lollys, just sitting there in a bag in front of him finally won.
Again, I gleefully maneuvered the clippers, searching for my son underneath the mountain of hair that claimed to be him.
A little harder this time, as hair that grows in 30 different directions has to be cut in 30 different directions.
But I won.
I have fought the clipper fight, and beat the battle of the hair - for now. It grows slowly, so that's a plus. I think we can get away with 2 haircuts a year.

In other news, I took the big boys to Walmart today.
As we walked across the parking lot, a car drove by looking for a spot, and Duncan without thinking reached out to touch it as it moved past us.
Got a dirty look from one lady who was appalled that my almost 5 yr old didn't have the sense to know not to touch a moving car. Hey, he's never touched a moving car, so how was he to know that it could hurt?
After getting a few things from my exceptionally well behaved boys that day (no running, and no crying/whining) we were on our way out when Matthew insisted on using the public bathrooms. Knowing that he had gone before we left (about 10 minutes earlier) I was not going to let him play in the bathrooms, and insisted that we head out home. Temper tantrum ensued. I put him in the cart. He refused to put his coat on. He screamed that loud embarrassing 3 yr old torture scream. You know the one. Where everyone looks at you and wonders why you can't control your kid, and how you must be a horrible parent for letting them scream, and how *their* kids will NEVER act like that, because they will just teach them not to... HA HAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
So after that little episode, Matthew ran out the automatic doors, which closed behind him and then he tried to get back in the out door - which would not open, and because he was standing so close to the doors trying to force them open with all the strength a 3 yr old can muster, the safety engaged, preventing anyone else from exiting the automatic doors.
The good kindly Walmart greeter who must have been all of 126 yrs old told me in a less than kind manner that I needed to tell my son to step back from the door.
Right.
This is a panicked 3 yr old, whose focus now is on getting the door open. I doubt he would even hear me at this point, as once he gets something into his head, he's a little bulldog, and CANNOT be directed to do anything.
Walmart employee cleverly thinks he will guilt me by saying "You need to move you are holding everyone up".
I glace for 2.8 seconds at the ONE person I am holding up and ignore ancient Walmart employee - trying to establish eye contact with Matthew so I can tell him that he needs to open the other door. Doesn't really matter at this point because Matthew's brute strength has managed to force one of the automatic doors open about an inch, spurring him on because he's "succeeding" at opening the door. (have I mentioned that he is incredibly strong for a 34lb 3-1/2 yr old?)
I grabbed my 2 little bags out of the cart, thankful that Joey was not with me, and helped Matthew force the door open enough for Duncan and I to slip through. I nearly said "Thankyou for all your help" to the Walmart guy, but decided it wasn't worth it, and the sarcasm would be lost on him anyway. ahhh Walmart is *always* such an experience.....