Today.

Today is Andrew's birthday. He would have been 9.
Seems weird to think of myself with a 9 yr old.
I don't feel old enough to have a 9 yr old, but I am.
I'm in my late 30's now - and have big kids, not babies.

Today I remember my son - but I am no longer crying. Maybe a little misty.
It has taken 9 years, but I'm in a good place.
I have 3 wonderful boys who are a blessing to me in more ways than I can possibly imagine.
They bring out the best in me (and sometimes the loudest part of me).
I have a husband who loves me, and friends who support me, make me laugh and give me strength and inspiration.

Today I don't dwell on the past and what could have been
But I remember the past - and what it has done to shape me into what I am.
I no longer actively mourn, but remember with sadness a life that I held for too short a time.

Today I rejoice - that I have stored up for myself treasures in Heaven - and that the greatest one of all is there. safe.

Today I take comfort in knowing that I have gained far more than I have lost.
I am thankful for so much.

Today I am reminding myself that others hurt too. Others have lost, and others have cried and others understand that the greatest fear in losing someone is that they will be forgotten. And so we remember the significant days, not for pity or attention - but simply to not forget, as our lives go on.
For me, that is today.