The funny side of Autism

For all the negatives - there are some truly charming and wonderful things about these boys.
One of them is their very literalness - and inability to see or think in abstracts - everything is black and white, with very little wiggle room for debate.
I have to admit that at times it has me howling with laughter - shaking my head thinking "well of course, your view makes much more logical sense"
so - a few examples from this past week - conversations and snippets from the mind of the very literal , One way to see things, Matthew.

He was doing his usual pesky little brother routine one day - he has a wonderful ability to find the one thing that will irritate you to no end - and then keep doing that. On this day it was touching Duncan's foot.
No amount of telling him to stop would slow down what he perceived as "a game" - Duncan's increasingly volatile reaction served only to encourage Matthew to keep going - to see if he could indeed get Duncan's head to explode.
I gave him a very stern command to stop it immediately, or be sent to bed without his chocolate milk (which as some of you know is as good as saying go to bed without your left arm, it is that much of a necessity).

With my peripheral vision I saw him inching towards Duncan's toes, and I stopped him in mid sneak attack by not even looking at him, but simply shouting "Matthew I can see you, now stop it"

"How can you see me?"

"I have eyes in the back of my head"

"But where are the eyes - I don't see them?"

"never mind - I can see everything you're doing"

hrrrrumpf, grumble grumble, stomp off

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Sunday Afternoon Matthew and I are having lunch on the deck outside in the backyard.
Joey comes outside sporting his brand new bicycle Helmet
"Hat" says Joey.
"Yes, I see you have a nice new helmet"
"Hat"
"yes, it's like a hat, it goes on your head - it's called a Helmet"
"Hat"
"Ok"
Matthew - "Why does he just keep saying Hat?"
me - "well I guess he's just showing it to us - he's bragging a bit - Bully for you Joey"
Matthew: "Mum, that's not a bully - it's Joey"

"Yes I know - it's an expression - if someone is bragging we just say 'bully for you'"

"But then he's just going to say 'I'm NOT a bully - I'm a kid'

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We inflated a giant balloon just for fun - the kids had a ball with it.
Matthew wanted to take it to school for show and tell - so I agreed that he could.
Monday morning dawned and he was so excited to take the balloon.
We were running late and so I decided to drive him to school (usually we walk but with a giant balloon, and running late, I didn't want to take any chances)
The balloon went into the passenger seat while I buckled Matthew into his booster.

"Mum, that balloon is a looker"

"What do you mean by that?" I asked

"That balloon is a looker"

"A looker?"

"yeah"

"Whats a looker?"

"You know - what did you call Daddy when he sat in that seat"

"Oh, the navigator"

"Oh yeah - the balloon is the navigator"

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Apparently, there are times when the boys have done something to their rooms that is so fascinating that I am commanded to 'come and see'
Often I'll find a fort or even more often some intricate lineup of at least 200 cars, neatly categorized and organized by colour, type and size. One mustn't dare mix up a Disney Car with a Hot Wheels.
On this one day I was scrambling to clean up a long neglected kitchen counter when Matthew told me to come and see his wonderful masterpiece.

"I can't right now sweetie, I'm in the middle of cleaning"

"but can't you see it?"

"no, I'm in the kitchen how can I see it"

"Well remember you said you had eyes in the back of your head and you can see everything"

The funny part is that he's dead serious, and not just trying to be a smart aleck.

There is a lighter side to autism - and I am reminded daily just how wonderfully funny and joyful these boys are.