My little boy is growing up

Joey graduated from kindergarten yesterday.

For most people it's a typical rite of passage, marked by a smiles and congratulations and sometimes even a graduation ceremony.
Plenty of parents and grandparents were there to snap pictures of their little ones, and video tape and to say goodbye to the kindergarten teachers who will no longer have those kids in their class.
For me it meant so much more. I cried.
The teacher that Joey has had for kindergarten - has taught all of my kids - she's been associated with our family for the last 5 consecutive years.

When Joey started kindergarten, I knew he wasn't really ready.
I had registered him 6 months earlier - and at the time he wasn't toilet trained, wasn't verbal, and wasn't apart from me for any length of time on a regular basis.
He had received an official diagnosis of autism when he was 3 years old, but had never written the official diagnostic testing that the other boys had written because he simply didn't have the comprehension to do it.

Joey, my quiet little boy who would repeat everything, over and over - but had no language skills. Repetitive words without comprehension. Non-responsive to his name. Incapable of dressing or putting on his own shoes.

But I knew there was something incredible about this little boy.
He could read before he could talk.
He could identify any house number, and loved to announce them when we went for walks.
He had the face of an angel and people frequently stopped to just stare at him.
He was small for his age - and looked younger than he was, which actually worked in his favour, as people didn't tend to notice that he was delayed in his communication.

About 10 days before school started - He was toilet trained, and a ripple of hope went through me.
He would not be going to school in diapers - and maybe - just maybe....the other kids would accept him and not make fun of him - oh please let him have a chance.
I had taken him for a speech assessment right before school started.

At age 4-1/2, his language was assessed at 1 yr 11 months.
And I was putting him in school. He was going from being at home all day with me, to being in a classroom with a teacher he didn't know - surrounded by kids he didn't know, and no way to ask questions or comprehend why.

The school has been amazing, and supportive and taking their role as 'teachers' above and beyond.
They introduced him to a Picture Exchange System - a way of letting him see visually, what he was supposed to be doing.
They showed him how to use a computer.
They nurtured him to independence, by insisting that he put his own shoes on.
They encouraged him to use words instead of crying, and to ask for help if he needed it.

It was hard for him. I know.
Many mornings he would insist that he wasn't going to school, but he never cried, not even the first day.
within months we would leave at the end of the day to a chorus of people waving "Good bye Joey" - smiles and waves and little people who adored him despite the fact that he never ever acknowledged them.
"Good morning Joey" was met with an indifferent expression and complete ignoring of the comment.
I would model his answers for him "Good morning" - and then he would repeat, with identical inflection "good morning".

My dad took it upon himself to teach Joey over the past two years to respond to greetings. Every time we would get together he would say "Hello Joey, how are you?" and would give him a chance to respond, and then model an appropriate response: "Say 'I'm fine thanks' " to which Joey would THEN repeat "I'm fine thanks".
Every. Single. Time.
Then one day he did it on his own.
By the time he was 5 we were noticing huge leaps in his language and comprehension.
It seemed that every few weeks we would see a noticeable change in his communication level.
It would start off with his ability to understand an instruction. "Go get your shoes".
Then he would understand 2 step instructions "Get your jammies from your room and bring them downstairs".
One day I told him to get his jammies - and he did. even put them on himself. On his own. A huge milestone

One of the amazing things about having a child with special needs is that EACH little step of progress is noticed, and celebrated.

One of the special education teachers had him for one day last year and came to me at the end of the day exclaiming "He can read!"
I knew he could, but at the time it was impossible to gage how well he could because he was often uncooperative and unresponsive to formal testing, he doesn't perform on demand.
Imagine my surprise one day when his teacher told me "I caught him on a good day and he tested at a level 4 reader" - Within the government standards for end of kindergarten.
So many amazing things that I would not have thought he would be doing less than 2 years later.

And so - This graduation holds special meaning for me - Not just because it's my youngest child, but also because his graduating was a hard fought victory. He worked so much harder than any of his classmates, because he started so much further behind.
While a kindergarten grad may be nothing more than symbolism for some - for us it represents 2 years of milestones, and advancements. 2 years of growth. 2 years of consistently teaching him how to learn, how to act how to make friends and every little detail that we often take for granted that kids will just 'pick up' - he doesn't. He has to be taught, using scripts and familiar items how to act in each unique situation.

Over the years, he has never mentioned another classmate by name voluntarily.
When pressed he has mentioned just one. A little girl. He loves her - and she loves him. She is like a little mother to him.
I am not completely sure he is ready for grade 1 - but he continues to surprise me at every turn.

One funny little story - His teacher sometimes calls Joey "Earl" - "Hey EARL, quit holding up the line", "Hey EARL, time to put your lunch away", "Hey EARL, put those shoes on, your mom is here" - He laughs hysterically and they have such a great rapport.
Now that school is over - he was sitting beside me on the couch and out of the blue said "Why does Mrs. L call me Earl?"

I really didn't have an answer for him, I was really more stunned that he asked me such a relevant question with perfect syntax and had evidently put a lot of thought into it.
I think I shouldn't be surprised - after all he is 6. And yet I am, because I know he doesn't sound like a typical 6 yr old - he sounds like a typical 3 yr old, so when a question comes out of him that is actually age appropriate - it sounds odd to me coming from him.
And I am thrilled.