1. Always Always ask before you leave anywhere if anyone has to go to the bathroom.
2. Always bring a pee can with you for emergencies.
3. Sometimes No means Yes
Eg.
"Would you like me to make you some macaroni?"
"No"
*****5 minutes later*****
"Mum, where's my macaroni?"
"You said you didn't want any?"
"But I DOOooooooooooooooo"
4. Sometimes Yes means No.
eg.
"Mom - can you make me some macaroni?"
"sure"
******5 minutes later******
"Bye mom - I'm going out to play!"
"What about your macaroni??"
"No, I don't want it"
5. Chocolate milk is just as nutritious as regular milk. It just tastes better.
6. If you paint your nails ONCE in front of your 5 yr old - be prepared for several incidences of him trying to do it himself. Alone in mom's bedroom. With the darkest most stain-worthy polish I was foolish enough to not keep under lock and key.
7. Dark red nail polish will stain a porcelain white tub. Nail polish remover will make it a pink stain. It won't come out of the carpet.
8. Never, ever let 2 toddlers play alone quietly upstairs for more than 2 minutes. If you then find the chocolate syrup is missing from the cupboard - just skip the heart attack inducing vision of little boys running through a brown "pool" in their bedroom and making chocolatey little footprints up and down the hallway of your 3 week old brand new house; Just call the professional carpet cleaners in right away.
9. Scotch tape won't fix a broken glass. It won't even fool me for more than a second. ok maybe 3 seconds.
10. Pennies on the floor will make one heck of a noise in the vacuum cleaner. Enough to scare a child *really* badly.
I have lots and lot of these.....eventually I want to have 100 of them. Then I will tell the story behind each one, and publish my book.
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10 comments:
lol! I think you need to add pictures next to each one! Some of us are visual people!
And then I will buy your book!
I am totally there buying your book too! I love it!!
Duct tape over the heating vents and around diapers, that was my favourite!
That was awesome!!! You are oh so wise.
It will be a very funny....I mean informative book Jenn! :)
I love that several are familiar to me... oh, and i love you too and will be first in line to buy your book.
yes - I agree - soemone with your photographic talents surely has visual representations for these!!!
Sign me up for a copy, too!
lol @ #9!
I would buy the book too :)
Hey Jenn, I think this is a great way to think positive over all the incidents our children so easily provide for us!! That way whenever there is a catastrophe you can think, this will be great fodder for my book!
BTW Jayson just unleashed an entire can of foaming upholstry cleanser all over our living room!! Most of it is on the carpet, and it smells nice... he had a great time though... I should have taken a picture...
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